Aoife Hearne: My pre-teen son wants to lose weight

It is normal for children to gain some weight around 13, before they stretch during puberty
Aoife Hearne: My pre-teen son wants to lose weight

We need to accept our body shape and size and not talk negatively about weight.

My 12-year-old son is carrying weight around his stomach and is self-conscious. I’ve told him it will go when he hits his growth spurt. To reassure him, I asked the GP to weigh him and he’s not overweight for his age and height. Regardless, he wants to lose weight and has started to cut down on carbs.

Well done for listening to your son and validating his feelings by going to a healthcare professional.

It is normal for children to gain some weight around 13, before they stretch during puberty. A few months can make a big difference in how they feel in their own skin.

Everyone is born with a genetic blueprint for size and shape. As parents, our job is to guide children towards a better relationship with their bodies. This starts by modelling good behaviour. We need to accept our body shape and size and not talk negatively about weight.

It’s critical to avoid any type of food restriction. Nutritional reasons aside, the most important thing to understand is that the research is clear that food restriction (dieting) is predictive of weight gain.

The supposed familiar ‘cure’ will likely create the very problem you are trying to avoid.

Mammals are not designed to lose weight. In fact, our bodies will defend against weight loss at all costs. Regulating our energy balance relies on the interaction of hormones from multiple organ systems and is impacted by factors unrelated to calories, like stress and sleep.

Research theorises that biology and environment, both known to impact weight regulation, resist sustained weight loss when calories from food are restricted. In addition, food restrictions in children lead to sneaky eating and a sense of shame when they fail to stick to these new (often unrealistic) food rules.

Calorie restriction results in the polar opposite of our goal to create healthy eating behaviours and a healthy relationship with food.

I’ve told you what not to do, now here is how I believe you can approach this with your son.

  • Focus on healthy habits with food. In particular, aim to eat every three to four hours throughout the day. Eating regularly will reduce intense hunger, which often leads to eating more than we need or want.
  • Focus on hunger and fullness to guide eating. When you feel hungry, you should eat, but when you feel full, it is a signal to stop eating (even if there is food still on your plate).
  • Balance your meals. Aim to fill a third to a half of your plate with colourful vegetables and divide the remainder between high-fibre carbohydrates and lean protein.
  • Carbohydrates are not the enemy. Wholegrain carbohydrates are important for health as they provide vital energy and fibre the body needs on a daily basis. So, instead of focusing on reducing carbohydrates, you could focus on being a little smarter about the types of carbohydrates you consume.
  • Unconditional permission to eat all foods. Rigid food rules can replace the joy of eating with guilt and promote a cycle of restriction and excess, resulting in disordered eating and weight gain. Enjoy your favourite foods in moderation.

For more detailed one-to-one support, you can find a registered dietitian in your area at www.indi.ie.

If you have a question for dietitian Aoife Hearne, please send it to parenting@examiner.ie

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