Cathal Dennehy: Ingebrigtsen story shows the worst of pushy parenting

Gjert, both the sire and trainer at one of the world’s top middle-distance stables, used to put his sons through gruelling early-morning sessions in a car park during their childhood and he was there, every step of the way, as three of them later went on to become European champions.

But that weekend in Belgrade, Gjert was absent and very few knew why. “What has it been like at this championships without your father?” asked US journalist Jonathan Gault. “Has it been challenging for you?” Ingebrigtsen looked back, maintaining eye contact and an awkward silence following his one-word answer.

“No.” That was obviously not the time to open up, but the brothers knew it couldn’t stay that way forever. Gjert had been too big a part of their success story to be whitewashed from it without explanation. But in October last year, the brothers finally lifted the lid via an op-ed in the VG Newspaper in Norway.

“We have grown up with a father who has been very aggressive and controlling and who has used physical violence and threats as part of his upbringing,” they wrote. “We still feel discomfort and fear which has been in us since childhood. Somehow we have accepted this. We have lived with it, and in adulthood we have moved on. At least we thought so. In retrospect, we realise that it was naive. But two years ago, the same aggression and physical punishment struck again. It was the drop that made the cup run over.

“When we broke up with Gjert, we thought we would be able to handle the situation in an orderly manner, without mentioning the underlying circumstances. We now realise that is not possible. The pressure we have felt has been inhumane at times. We have run out of energy and the joy of playing sports is gone.” Of all the troubling lines, the last one hit hardest. An Olympic, world and European champion saying he no longer gets joy from his sport.

Gjert denies the allegations. “The statements they make are baseless,” he said in a statement. “I have never used violence against my children. That I have weaknesses as a father, and have been too much of a coach, is a realisation I have also come to, albeit far too late. I am far from perfect as a father and husband, but I am not violent.” In April this year, Norwegian police pressed charges against Gjert for alleged physical abuse, and some of the fallout to that is captured in episode two of Ingebrigtsen: Born to Run, a docuseries that aired in recent days on Amazon Prime. It offers an intriguing insight into the brothers’ world as they prepared for the Paris Olympics in the absence of the man who’d so long steered their path.

It also offers a fascinating insight into the single-minded attitude of Jakob, particularly the scene where he chats with his pregnant wife, Elisabeth.

“Can you help me pick up the pax wardrobe?” she asks.

“No,” says Jakob.

“I’m entering my third trimester, I expected that you would help out.” “Did you really expect that?” “No, I didn’t … we just have to get it from the car with the trolley.” “No, Elisabeth, quit your nagging. I need to rest.” “You’re useless.” Later, while on training camp in Flagstaff, Arizona, Jakob smiles as he discusses the dynamic of their relationship. “She’s in love with me, and I’m in love with me as well,” he says. “It’s a perfect match.” Amid the jovial atmosphere on camp, there is the constant rumble of the family feud in the background. Having been united on the path to Olympic gold in Tokyo, the build-up to Paris saw the Ingebrigtsen family utterly divided. Gjert was still at the Games, coaching one of Jakob’s chief rivals, fellow Norwegian Narve Gilje Nordas, but he was not accredited by the Norwegian Olympic Committee, which respected the wishes of the brothers in not having him around.

Gjert’s trial is expected to take place this autumn and it will reveal more about what exactly happened during the Ingebrigtsens’ childhood. In recent weeks, older brother Kristoffer added to the allegations, telling Norwegian newspaper Aftenposten that when he was in his mid-teens, his father “took a stranglehold” of him with both hands, adding: “I felt like he was going to kill me.” Kristoffer had been a competitive runner in his youth but walked away from it in adulthood and he claimed that after he once stopped during a half marathon run in training, his father punched him in the face. It's understood the charges Gjert faces relate to Jakob and his younger sister, Ingrid, who was allegedly left with a mark on her face a couple of years ago after being struck by a towel. She has since walked away from athletics.

Towards the end of the Aftenposten story, Kristoffer, 36, says there were some positives to their upbringing. “We are hardened. We can withstand a lot and can withstand most things. If anything positive has come out of this, it is that he has made us very … robust.” Of course, it’s impossible to know if the Ingebrigtsen brothers would have been just as good at running, or perhaps even better, had they not had the upbringing they recounted. But their stories struck a similar tone to many top-level sportspeople who didn’t appear to have it easy early in life.

Jakob’s sporting journey is reminiscent of sporting greats like Tiger Woods, Serena and Venus Williams and Andre Agassi, precocious talents who all had a father pushing them to elite levels from a very early age. Agassi’s autobiography, Open, dives headfirst into his father’s tyrannical approach and how it affected him. “I hate tennis,” he wrote. “Hate it with a dark and secret passion and always have.” It was an alarming admission, but through the book you understand why, given what he’d grown up with.

The issue with cases like these, where the protégé grows up to be a world-beater, is that the athletes involved were among the special few with the talent, mental toughness and physical durability to cope and to flourish. There’s an obvious concern that other parents might see their success and think the end justifies the means.

There’s a time for a high-performance mentality, and sport at the elite end can’t be all rainbows and sunshine. But that shouldn’t ever occur at the ages the Ingebrigtsens and so many other stars were subjected to it. Because yes, they grew up to become champions, but perhaps only they truly know the cost of those dreams.