What a Difference a Day Makes: 'I’ll never forget my future wife walking into my sights when I was 14'

So Carina found me — and for me, this beautiful girl in a red dress arrived on the scene. I was fairly blown away by this stunning girl. We became an item, sweethearts for a while, it was an amazing relationship to have at that stage. But I guess, being a young boy… it came to an end.

We’d see each other on an off over the years. Life goes on — you end up being in other relationships. The timing was never right. We were really just friends. Many years later, it was my sister Henny’s birthday, and she had this amazing party at my grandmother’s house.

I asked Henny to invite Carina because I hadn’t seen her in an age. I just wanted to see her. She nearly didn’t come but thankfully she did. I saw her across the room. I did feel a connection and when we spoke we had a wonderful conversation. I think we just realised we appreciated the same values and fun, we just had a natural warmth and spark that I guess stemmed back to many years before.

Next morning Henny came into my room. I hadn’t slept very well and she asked what’s wrong. I said “I’m just thinking a lot about Carina”. And she said “why don’t you just call her?” She actually took my phone and dialed Carina’s number and gave it to me. Under false pretenses — Carina and I both worked in the renewable energy sector at the time — I managed to get her out on a date, with “let’s get together to talk about the business”.

We had an amazing night in London — not much business was discussed! Us meeting again after so many years was in October, 18 years ago. 

I was immediately strong in my conviction that this was the girl I was going to ask to marry me, if she would have me. I kind of declared my intentions pretty much immediately.

I know she was enthralled by it, but at the same time somewhat suspicious of me jumping back into her life full-throttle. She just needed space and time to process, to take it all on board, and I was fully prepared to do that. She came over to see me in Ireland a few times.

I proposed that January — we were down in Terryglass on Lough Derg for my grandmother’s birthday. I proposed in the howling wind and rain… there was a moment of sunshine as we were walking around the shores of Lough Derg. I was very nervous about proposing because in some ways it was rushed but thankfully she said yes.

So we refound each other, rekindled things and married within a year.

For me, Carina never really went away. As a young teen I didn’t see that far ahead, but a friend asked, many years later when I was in my early 20s and living in Australia, if I had ever been in love. I said “I think the only time I’ve been in love is when I was 14, with this girl called Carina”. That too was a bit of a lightbulb moment.

I still see the girl in the red dress. I’ll never forget her walking into my sights for the first time. Carina has always been a remarkable person. That never changed. I guess my admiration for her just deepened. I always knew she was an old soul — she has this lovely innate wisdom. She’s a very strong person, taking everything on at Slane, it wouldn’t have been for everyone — she has taken it all in her stride. I wouldn’t have been able to keep going if she hadn’t been at my side.

I think she has made me a better man. She’s incredibly honest and that has allowed me be more honest with myself, and I guess a little braver facing life’s challenges. It’s a blessing and a gift that it turned out this way. I do have a lot of gratitude to Sasha — she’s still a good friend.

It’s nice to be able to talk about something quite personal that in some ways is very private. It’s fun to relive some of the magic. Carina has taught me that when you sense the magic just lean in.

• Alex Conyngham, earl of Mount Charles, lives in Slane Castle. The Enchanted Kingdom, an immersive light and sound installation, takes place in the castle’s grounds after sunset Thursday to Sunday, from November 14, 2024 until January 2025.
• Family-friendly, fully accessible for wheelchairs/buggies/all ages and abilities, this year it raises funds for Special Hands — an activity group dedicated to improving lives of children and young adults with additional needs. The event also includes a Christmas craft and food market. More info and tickets €21.50 at enchantedkingdom.ie