Richard Hogan: Think about Christmases of old — your presence is your present

Ye olde ‘bah humbuggers’, be gone. I always think of myself like Jimmy Stewart manically running down the street and screaming, ‘Happy Christmas old building society’.

I love this time of year. I love every time of year, if I’m being honest. I’m annoying like that. winter, spring, summer, or fall; I love them all.

Even though I do love this season, it should come with a little warning for parents: We don’t have to buy our children everything for them to have a memorable Christmas.

We are in the age of extreme commercialism.

Never have products had such a direct route to our children, and by god are they using them.

If you are a parent of a six- to 10- year old, you might have noticed how they have become interested in these ‘lotions’ and ‘potions’.

They are literally setting our children up to be consumers and to think about themselves aesthetically at a very young age.

No child needs chemical products to wash their perfect faces with.

They are literally washing away healthy oils (and their childhood) with these chemicals. Children should not be conscious of what they use to wash themselves with at this age.

We really don’t want our children comparing their skin to their friends. That’s the root of misery.

They are being groomed, younger and younger, for a life of consumerism.

We should not be complicit in this and help them out of this commercial trap.

Many parents will have already secured some of their children’s Christmas gifts, to keep the burden of the cost down. 

But tomorrow evening will be a spanner in that process as children change their minds with the razzle and dazzle of what the Toy Show brings to their consciousness.

It’s really difficult for parents with all their children are bombarded with at this time of year. 

Managing their children’s expectations is really hard on parents. the Toy Show itself has transmuted into some sort of nationwide collective pyjamas extravaganza.

All children have to be in the same get-up with mountains of treats at the ready. It has become ‘children’s little Christmas’.

A whole new holiday of toys and empty calories.

Am I bah humbugging here? Jesus, I think I might be.

And I have just taking the Lord’s name in vain.

Bold list, for sure.

KEEPING SIGHT

But the pressure we can feel, as parents, can be overwhelming this time of year.

We also don’t want our children to lose sight of themselves in all of this. It is a time of receiving gifts, but it is important for them also to give.

I tell my children that they can have one big thing and two small things and they have to pick something to give to charity.

I am trying to keep the concept of altruism in their minds in this mad season of getting stuff. I hear them thinking, what would a kid of their age like for Christmas.

All the research shows that children who appreciate the value of things and think about others, grow up to be happier adults.

Children who expect to get everything, are disappointed adults. They struggle to find the magic all around them. And getting stuff doesn’t really make you happy.

It’s a momentary joy, but it is not a sustaining joy.

That’s having gratitude for your life and all of the bounty that is in it. That’s not a material thing.

When you reflect on your childhood, and recall the Christmases of old. What really comes to mind?

Are you like Marcel Proust, overwhelmed with emotion dipping a madeleine in your tea?

What really stands out? Of course there will be a present you had been dreaming about all year, a bicycle or a doll’s house, but what really comes to mind?

It’s the feeling you had at that time, the people you were with, the love you all shared.

The joy on Christmas eve and excitement closing your eyes before all of what would spread before you in the morning.

Yes, presents are there, but how many of them can you really recall? What is foremost in your mind, I would imagine, is the love you experienced.

The shared complicity of ritual. The unique festive routine you did as a family.

That’s what really matters.

I’m not saying don’t have presents for your children, I am saying the love you share is what makes this season so special.

Parents can put themselves in all sorts of financial pressure to make the day special.

January can be a cruel month, made far crueller by heaping heavy debt on yourself in December.

Remember it will all be over in a matter of weeks, and children will be onto the next thing.

I might be a day early, maybe even a couple of weeks but feck it, Happy Christmas, one and all.